Ok, one more entry about the global disaster that is my phase III student teaching and I'll be done.
Today was the last day I'll ever go to EIB in the foreseeable future. I had a little chat with the principal to make sure things are ok between the school and UTEC. Then I had my midterm evaluations with my CT and supervisor. Both of which did not go without tears on my part.
I was surprised and then not surprised that I got some pretty low scores on my midterm. Instruction and behavior management go hand in hand - or that's what my CT and supervisor kept saying. And I know that's true, but instruction, behavior management and the way the students react did not go hand in hand in my opinion. There's something missing here that I don't get. Well, I suppose I'll have six months to figure it out.
Saw some of my students today. C is this boy who would be my favorite student if, well, he wasn't so C. He's a great kid: smart, considerate of others, creative, hard working. He looked as sad as I felt when I told them I couldn't be their teacher any more. They all asked why. I said it just didn't work out.
Ok, that's all. Time to move onward and forward and upward. My CT and supervisor both said I belong in this profession, that I have many talents for it and I bring a lot to the future of education. I don't know about the "belonging" part; I guess I can't help by doubt myself. And I know they mean well, but I couldn't help but feel a little condescended to. How can I have anything to bring to the profession if I can't handle management?
Tomorrow is a new day. But I think I'm going to wallow a little bit more tonight.
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