Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Lessons from jury duty
If you want to get out of jury duty but don't have a reliable excuse, then appear at the jury assembly room wearing a slogan tee that says, "Boobies Make Me Smile" with a huge smiley face on it. This is way better than the passive aggressive version of showing up in tank tops and shorts.
Please thoroughly cleanse yourself before showing up. Because there are approximately 100,000 other potential jurors waiting for hours and hours in that dinky room. And everyone will appreciate you doing your civic duty that much more if you don't smell like feet.
During roll call, names will be mispronounced. This is a fact everyone has accepted. Except for the person who is actually doing the roll call. This person WILL NOT get over the fact that he/she is mispronouncing names left and right and will make multiple attempts at saying your name right (all of which will be wrong. again) even when THE PERSON BEING CALLED RESPONDED A FULL TWO MINUTES AGO.
It is exceedingly appropriate to dance and cheer when the case you were called in for decided to settle out of trial.