I didn't mean for this to happen

Dear Blogger,

I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm in a serious relationship with Tumblr now. It started awhile back - to be honest, I forget when exactly.

But even without Tumblr, you've gotten to be rather high maintenance. Your editing platform seems to change every other day, and I'm never quite sure where the publish post button is. Also: it's kind of a pain in the butt to attach photos to your posts. They never seem to be placed where I want them to be. Or sized the way I want them to be. And the caption layout leaves much to be desired.

I also want to expand on the topics I write about. Don't worry, it'll always lean a little towards education. But there's more to writing than commenting on American education policy, and the basketball antics of Arne Duncan.

We'll still be good friends. I'll come back and visit. Who knows, my fickle heart might find Tumblr too shallow, too contrite, not original enough (all the reblogging and whatnot). We'll see.

In any case, good times. Come visit me too.

This might explain why...

...some of my students act the way they do when they work in a small group.

Click here to read.

Want to read something awesome?

Click here. This person just described every. Single. Day. Of my life in the classroom.

Except sometimes - just sometimes ::ahem:: - it doesn't turn out as peacefully as that.

Control issues

WTFreak?

Question: What are some good tips on how to handle students who highly enjoy minding everyone's business but their own?

Three school days only since winter break and I'm ready for another two weeks off.

If I don't get to that problem, let it go.

          If I don't teach them that procedure, let it go.

                    If I haven't succeeded at making a positive connection, let it go.

Let it go, let it go, let it go.

2012

A little more than a week has passed since the last day of school before winter break, and yet I feel so much more relaxed. What have I done since then?

~ participated in a "teacher flash mob" for the winter assembly
~ drove home to see my parents for a night
~ flew to Japan
~ flew to Hong Kong
~ saw all my relatives
~ ate a lot of really good food
~ shopped a lot
~ people-watched a lot
~ rested a lot

I've also had a lot of time to think. In general, I think too much, and I don't act enough. Thinking a lot about the new year...about being closer to 30 than to 25...about the future and what it holds...

Professionally, I would like to accomplish these things in 2012:

~ become tenured at my school:lots of people have this thing against tenure. So do I, actually, if it's automatically given and never contested in the future. But I think I'm well on my way to earning that status. I work really, really, REALLY hard. I have positive results. Last year, I had better CST scores than the other Algebra Readiness teacher - who, according to the principal, is the best teacher on campus. By the end of June, tenure would be deserved.

But I don't mind the possibility of it being taken away if I don't work hard, or show positive results. I don't mind that kind of pressure. I don't mind that kind of fire. I'll simply continue proving to everyone that I'm a great teacher.

~ learn Spanish. Just cuz' this skill is a no-brainer in Cali.

~ restart that dang masters program I've been procrastinating on. Yep, I keep saying I will, and I keep telling people I will, but in the end, I haven't yet. I push it aside, convincing myself it's not urgent. It's certainly not as urgent as handling Textbook ADHD Boy, or Rude Boy, or I-Double-Dog-Dare-You Girl (huh, I haven't blogged about these students have I? The stories I can tell about these kids are killer). No, it's not urgent.

But that doesn't mean it's a good idea to purposefully make it non-urgent.

Patience is not a thing

Patience is not a thing right now. It is an escapee of the prison that is my soul.

Ha. Was that emo enough for you?

Even without a calendar, it's really easy to tell when it is the last week before winter break. The students are tired. I'm tired. The admin is tired. The support staff is tired. I think even my backpack straps are tired.

Four more days until break.

Four more days until HK (!!!).

Four more days of 6th period (actually, three! I don't see them on Wednesdays! gasp!).

Four more days. Hanging on for four more days.

Cancellations

Dear Sub Who Bailed on Me:

This does not bode well towards you being called back. Nuh-uh.

Small logistical steps, big leap for me.

Riding on a positivity wave, results of the 10 day Thanksgiving Break. It wasn't great in 6th period today - but it wasn't terrible either. Chatty, at least no one was rude.

I also have a plan. A glorious, mind-boggling, complicated, life-long-work-type of plan. It involves that D-word: Differentiation.


I love the idea of differentiation. I love it in theory. I have yet to love it in practice. So many places to begin, and seemingly each thing can't live without the other being implemented at the same time as well. Which only adds to the "Dude, I am SO. Not. Doing. That." feeling.

But I must. Hell if it's done piecemeal in a haphazard fashion! The kinks can be ironed out later - nothing can be ironed out at all if it isn't implemented first.

It also looks like those 12-hour days are coming back.....hm. That doesn't sound appealing. Setting a limit for myself to no more than two 12-hour days in the classroom.

Things I'm looking forward to

Winter assembly is coming up! I wonder what the teachers' skits will be like? It's time to start brainstorming.

Wrapping up the first half of the Algebra Readiness curriculum and giving the semester final BEFORE winter break. Gotta love that!

Writing more. Just, writing more. Carving out time to write, on purpose. Not just because I feel like it, or want to, or have a few minutes to spare. But consciously making it a priority.

This time of year makes me want to set and plan goals. Come on ideas! Bring it!

Break

I remember it being really difficult to go back to work after Thanksgiving break last year - much more difficult than after winter break. Not quite sure why - it certainly isn't because of length.

Perhaps it's because Thanksgiving break comes during a time when a break is needed - highly needed. I've needed this break a lot. I've cut my hair (after 1.5 years without a hair cut!)//got a flu shot (after 5 years of no flu shots!)//got my car serviced (6 months since the previous service!)//baked//read//wrote Christmas cards and sent them out//bought a pair of waterproof boots//organized personal papers//slept a lot.

I love Thanksgiving break. I also love the fact that I got to spend a whole day in the classroom - no students, no colleagues, just me. Prepping, cleaning up, grading, organizing. You would think I do that everyday anyway - and I do. It's just never enough to keep up with the rest of the action. New system perhaps?

Leisurely breakfasts were also taken during break. So nice.

Recent teaching mistake

I make a lot of these, from the small, to the big. This time, I'm telling the whole interweb, just so I remember and can prevent it next time:

I. Printed 36 copies of the old Algebra 1 benchmark 1 test, instead of the new one. Only found out when a student noticed that the number of bubbles on the OARS scantron didn't match the number of questions on the test.

PREVENT: Double-check the hell out when setting up materials for class.

Paper is expensive, and we only get two reams each month from the school. Also: it's a pain in the butt to correct scantron tests by hand.

Baby names: teacher version

My colleagues, like myself, have vowed to never name their kids after certain students - mainly because of the student's personality. There's just a connotation that is difficult to get over.

We also all agreed that it's a horrible thing to name your kid after yourself - as in exactly after yourself. Not the "Jrs" or "the IIIs" or nicknames based on your name - those are ok. But the exact same name? Bad move.

Yes. Get a bunch of teachers together, two of whom are preggers, and you get this kind of conversation. It was kind of fun, actually.

We do conferences different

Yesterday and Thursday were parent/teacher/student conferences at my school. I love conference time. It sounds a little weird I know, but no matter how low a student is, or how poorly behaved they are in class, the conference always turns out positive - and from what I remember last year, it always ends up with at least some positive results as well.

Things I love about the way we do conferences:

~ It's right before Thanksgiving break

~ We take a minimum day on Thursday to make room for conferences starting at 1pm

~ Then we continue in the morning the next day

~ Which means we get to do conferences without the pressures of daily lesson planning and grading on our backs

~ The PTA makes an AWESOME soup supper for the teachers on Thursday night, since we are usually at school until 8pm

~ The 8th grade team chips in for breakfast the next morning

~ Some of the younger teachers go out for Cheesecake Factory after all conferences are over on Friday

~ All the teachers are there, and it's pretty insightful to hear from the other subject matter teachers on any one particular kid

I don't usually have down time during conferences - at least on Thursday. If I'm not at my own conference, I'm translating for someone. I had 2-3 appointments at each time slot from 1pm through 7:30pm on Thursday and it was INSANE. However, I only had two conferences on Friday morning. It was just nice to sit, and chat, and grade, and help the other teachers do some organizing, and munch on snacks. Especially the snacks part - I don't normally get a chance to eat anything from 6:30am through 12:40pm on a regular work day.

Notice all the comments about food? Yeah. I like food.

Another Jonah day

But the thing is, it wasn't all bad! The good stuff:

- I did yoga!
- I did laundry!
- I left school before the sun set!
- I arrived at school after the sun rose!
- I had a really good conversation with a parent of a student
- I had a really good conversation with the student who is the child of the parent
- It was just a really good conversation between the three of us. Productive.
- I scrounged together a last minute cumulative review on the past first four chapters for Algebra 1...typed it up, printed it out, xeroxed it, hole punched it, and set it in the "Today's Handouts" tray in record speed.

But it is all for naught when one bad class period ruins the entire day. It's worse when that class period is that last class of the day. Reminders to self:

These kids are NOT bad - their behavior is bad.

I am NOT a bad teacher - but I can be better.

We can all be better. It takes blood, sweat, tears, and time. But we can all be.

Better.

On problem solving

Problem solving is funny. It is hard, it is both long term and short term. True problem solving doesn't create another problem in the solution. True problem solving contains truth.

~~~

I walked in on an EL teacher's meeting today at lunch, thinking I was just going to another colleague's classroom to hang out. To be in some place other than my own classroom. It was rather interesting.

~~~

I traced my hand onto a sheet of blue construction paper, and cut it out. I glued it onto a sheet of yellow construction paper, then used blue painters tape to attach it onto a spot next to my clock. It is a visual aid for me - to remind me to be more consistent about hand-raising procedures. To value the procedure more than the answer. Because I've got WAY too much blurting out of turn going on, especially in 6th period.

On change at a time. One goal at a time. Focus. Follow-through. Flake-outs eliminated. There are enough flake-outs in my students lives. They don't need to add their teacher to the list.

I Am a Teacher

I am:

~ an eScript subscriber
~ a card carrying member of the Will-Shush-Your-Child-On-Airplanes-If-You-Don't club
~ a suburbanite
~ a spectator at school sports events
~ a dance chaparone
~ a "homework nazi," as one kid I overheard say today
~ a change machine for whenever your child wants a drink from the vending machine
~ a Girl Scout cookie shareholder

I do nearly everything on the list of things my 18-year-old self would have thought was too mundane/boring/suburban/2.5-kids-and-a-mini-van-soccer-mom-ish.

I've had approximately 650 kids in my life, an counting.

I am a teacher.

What are you?

Chinchillas vs. MacBook - Chinchillas win!

It's been an exceptionally good week. Even 6th period was decent. Even the science teacher's chinchillas escaping and ruining my laptop cart that he was borrowing for his class can't get me down.

Actually, the chinchilla thing is pretty funny.

My laptop cart contains twenty 13" MacBooks set up for student use. My school subscribes to Study Island, which I have never used just because there's not enough time in the day. But I was planning on incorporating some of it this year.

The science teacher - our official school Zookeeper - borrows my laptop cart a lot. We have to share; there are only 5 laptop carts on campus. 100 Macbooks + 35 Mac desktops in the computer lab + 15 odd PCs in the library = the combined computing power available for students on a campus with a 1300+ population.

Yeah. We're working on the student-to-computer ratio. It's going to take some time.

Anyway, I have Mobile Lab 4, one of the newer additions to our computing arsenal. I used it a lot last year for students to research definitions and the properties of addition and subtraction. We also played a few games that came with our online textbooks. It costs $25,000 for the whole kit and kaboodle: the laptops, the software, the cables, the attached printer and wireless router, the cart itself.

$25,000 worth of equipment. Taken down by a pair of rampant chinchillas. Dude, don't mess with chinchillas.

Relativity

Let's get something straight. I am not the best teacher in the world. I am not even the best teacher that I could possibly be.

I have a lot to learn.

I have a lot to practice and improve upon.

I make mistakes on an hourly basis.

However...

When I speak with different people, and hear their stories, I realize: Hey. I'm pretty good at this. Not the best. But pretty good.

Story #1: Teacher A has 3 classes of 15-18 students in each class. She's drowning in paperwork. She wonders in awe how I manage 5 classes of 30-35 students worth of paperwork.

Story #2: I have a student whom I shall call Elf, because he has super large ears. He tends to bounce off the walls, distract others and succumb to distractions. It's constant. It's annoying. It's one of the reasons why I've had a serving of Hagan Daz everyday for the past two weeks. It takes every fiber of my being to be patient with him. To keep up the energy. To make sure he's on task - or as on task as a kid like him can possibly be. Yet, I still have a good impression of him, on a personal level. He's not malicious, or hateful, and even though he drives me nuts he hasn't been outright defiant or rude towards me. He has good days and bad days. He tries - usually. He raises his hand to participate - and is actually pretty bright, under all the obnoxious shoe squeaking and bird whistles.

And then, one of his teachers from last year says, "You think he's horrible. Just imagine him on his worst day, multiply it by 100, and that's how he is with his mother all the time. She has given up on him, and he knows it. He's probably given up on her. Mr. Awesome 7th Grade English Teacher had to call Elf out on his rudeness to his own mother when they were having a parent conference last year. Actually, the way you describe him makes me think he's really matured since last year."

I am so glad I am not in his mother's shoes. That poor, ignorant, worn-down woman.

Elf doesn't respond to detentions though. I'll need a different tack on this one.

Story #3: SPED teachers deserve their own castle in heaven, and I have the utmost respect for them. But there is one at my school who seems just as ditzy as some of the students. She calls an IEP meeting, then doesn't give the time for it. She calls the time for it, but doesn't give the location. She calls the location, but doesn't actually tell the necessary teachers until literally 5 minutes before it's supposed to start, and then decides to call a new day because no one can make it. But when she calls for a meeting on a new day, SHE DOESN'T GIVE THE TIME OR LOCATION, NOR DOES SHE TELL THE APPROPRIATE GEN. ED TEACHERS. Again.

And then she meets me in the staff copy room and gives me a half-hour spiel on how the kid is doing, asking for the same from me in return, when I no longer have the kid in my class anymore due to a schedule change THAT SHE MADE HERSELF.

Um. Yeah. So, that's why I think I'm not so bad at what I do after all. I can't be all bad when Elf actually follows directions from me, or the daily 160 homework papers is a breeze to correct and grade, on top of the weekly 160 test and quiz papers, on top of the 160 bi-monthly appetizer papers, on top of the 160 quarterly benchmark tests, on top of whatever other papers that float through my hands regarding bulletins and assignments and projects and syllabi and progress reports.

And that's not counting the 22 chapters worth of lessons to keep organized.

*****

On a lighter note: earthquake! On the Great California Shake-out, no less.

Stress management

Some yummy Thai food, a good night's sleep, and a Saturday filled with watching Gilmore Girls has lifted my mood significantly. Writing it out in a rant also helped.

But just in case Monday is awful, here's a little reminder to myself:

I have the right to do my job. It is possible to have my rights infringed upon. I am in charge, I don't apologize for it - for when I'm wrong, yes. But NOT for being the teacher, not for being the one who makes the decisions for my classroom.

I don't need to reward students for doing what they should be doing in the first place. They shouldn't even need a warning. They should already know, and should already do it. Because they are students, and that is their job. The rewards and positive reinforcement structure I have - built in all over the place, by the way - is just a perk. A privilege. Their greed is apparent when they want more.

And as their teacher, I am in charge of curtailing that greed before it gets out of control. I am in charge of making sure they grow up to be minimally obnoxious.

Apparently, I am their parent. Geez. I should have a universal license for discipline. Like a doctor. Or something.

Walk in, walk out

I walked in assuming the best.

I walked out not.

I hate this, and I don't know how to make it better. I can try all I want, but I don't know.