Saturday, April 24, 2010

Lessons from the freeway

Bogus indeed.

I drive a lot. It's a curse and a convenience, and I live in California where we like to fan out rather than build up. Which means I talk about driving a lot. Here and here for instance.

Today's driving stories come from the freeway. Those huge structures of concrete and steel, asphalt and unidentifiable plants in the medians. The arteries of modern civilization.

Lesson #1: If you want to go slow, do it in the slow lane. Unless you WANT to be an annoyance and a hinderance to those around and behind you.

Lesson #2: If you want to go fast, do it in the fast lane, or else. Unless you WANT to be a jerk face.

Lesson #3: Head for areas with less traffic.

Lesson #4: On the occasions where heading for areas with less traffic is not advisable, nor feasible, chill out! Turn the a/c on. Crank up the radio. Sit up straighter, lower your shoulders. Loosen that grip from the wheel. You'll get there when you get there.

Lesson #5: That said, it is horribly rude to cut in front of somebody who is going at a faster rate than you. When THERE IS NOTHING IN YOUR WAY IN YOUR OWN LANE. Really? Do you really want "pissing people off" as your one and only success in life?

Lesson #6: Beware of keeping pace with the driver next to you. There is most likely someone coming up behind you, looking for the perfect opportunity to blow past both of you. Take your chance of moving ahead while you can.

Lesson #7: On the same note, if someone is all up on your rear bumper, flashing headlights, roaring engine, and all, TAKE THE HINT.

Lesson #8: Buffer zones = the most effective protection against crashes.

Lesson #9: Finally, be a Good Samaritan.

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