Kinda like making egg tarts

Hit or miss? Or experienced consistency?
Another perfectly behaved class taught today. It's been a month since I was withdrawn from student teaching. I've run the gamut of emotions as well as sunk into what Psych Central calls a "severe depression" and was advised to "seek professional medical advice immediately."

But I have yet to figure out how it deteriorated the way it did. I don't think I'll ever come to understand what went wrong this semester for a very very long time. If ever. I haven't done very much differently from the way I typically handle behavior management. Well, maybe I've been a little more explicit about directions and consequences. The "sick" voice (raspier, lower pitched) helps a little too. I've also been MUCH more relaxed while teaching, which means the words come out smoothly, and my actions are seamless. I was told today by one of the parents, who is also a teacher (high school), that he couldn't even tell which kids I targeted for behavior and which ones were just getting help. All he knew was that the behaviors were quickly extinguished in a low-key manner.

Ok, I take that back. I guess I have been doing things differently due to environmental factors. I'm so much more at ease in certain types of classrooms than others! Just this past week, I finally began to develop acceptance of certain events and things that may never happen. The peace that followed this thought was such a relief. Yet, when I accepted that certain things were never going to change about JL's classroom, the brick wall I was beating my head against only got thicker and thicker.

Weird how things turn out.

During clean up time today, one of the girls hung back and watched me put away my traveling art kit. I let her help me tidy up the pencils and things in their individual boxes. She did all this without speaking, just nodding or shaking her head or smiling. When everything was put away and we were ready to roll, I asked her if she had a good time. She thought for a moment and then shyly said,

"I didn't think I was good at art before, so I never liked it. But I think I'm starting to like it now."

Oh geez. Just when I was ready to up and quit UTEC, some kid I've only taught once has to go and say something like that. Thanks a lot, kid. It's all your fault for making me not run away from this profession.