Thursday, March 18, 2010

Kids say so much, sometimes you wish they hadn't

Everything would be beautiful, if only it could always be viewed with Barbara Walter's soft-focus lens.

My brightest tutoring student has a younger brother and sister. The younger sister is quite...well, in your face.

She had been sick this past week and was just getting better, so she had extra energy to spare. During my tutoring session with my student, the younger sister kept bugging him, then bugging me, then bugging both of us. My student had an easy assignment, so I was cutting him some slack (although I hope he finished that extra credit assignment that I made him do).

At one point, Younger Sister sidles up to me and stares me in the face. The tip of her nose is barely an inch away from mine.

Younger Sister (commenting on the peach fuzz above my upper lip): You have a mustache.

Tutoring Student (Older Brother does older brother thing and becomes embarrassed for YS; hey, I have an older brother, and I know that look well): Riley!* That's rude!

Me (smiles at my student reassuringly and say to YS): Well, yes. You do too.

Younger Sister (completely innocently): I do?

Tutoring Student (is probably completely annoyed and fed up at this point by all the bugging his sister is doing): Yes, yes you do. Now go away.

Younger Sister (ignores): Why do girls have mustaches?

Me: Everyone does, boys and girls both. People are supposed to have hair on their faces. It's for protection, like your eyelashes.

Younger Sister: Oh.

Me: You can go and look in the mirror at your own facial hair. Now leave your brother alone - he'll be done with tutoring in ten minutes and then you can play with him.

Younger Sister trots off and I return to tutoring.

I said it with all honestly and truthfulness - or as true as I knew. The hair on our bodies IS supposed to protect us. However, when I got home tonight, I plucked under a magnifying mirror until my upper lip was as bare and smooth as a baby's butt. Vanity wins.

*Not real name.

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